No pod-casters were harmed in the writing of this piece 5


So this is crazy, not just because people want to write for my blog but because this is technically the first post for my new website. A few of you may know my old site to be www.digitaldancer.me. However out with the old and in with the new. So if you have ever wanted advice on your podcast, then strap yourself in and read Michelle Moloney King’s fantastic post.

 

Are you a Podcast Sinner?

 

Outtakes are funny. Rarely.

 

If you use use the words: I, me, mine, my, arse – too much then I will delete you. Moloney King don’t subscribe to no self-pity party! (Suckka)

 

We are not friends.

 

This is not your radio show, pal. I’m here to listen to your digital marketing podcast. To learn. Time is limited. And your egocentric meanderings, that you normally whisper to the mirror, are starting to p**s me off.

 

Don’t curse at me. It’s not nice to listen to you beeping yourself into oblivion. Use your words not your potty mouth. Flush.

 

Why haven’t I learnt anything yet?

 

What’s that? Your kids laugh when you cry at the Toy Story furnace scene? Seriously, this went past being unique and is now in Awkward. Yeah, with a capital.

 

You’re ranting now. The safe space of your PC and mic have confused you. This shouldn’t be your therapy circle. Not on my learning time.

 

You lied to me. You used a cool and catchy title something about…digital inbound marketing war manoeuvres…and you just spent the first two minutes of your podcast banging on about your issues.

 

This sharing is leaving me not caring.

 

Two minutes of my life – devoured. Eaten. Gone. Black space. Spaced?

 

I gave you:

  • 5 seconds to grab my attention.
  • 10 to prove yourself.
  • 50 trying to make sense of your verbal diarrhea.
  • And another 55 retching.

Where is the unsubscribe button?

 

You lured me here with an infograph-tastic, informative blog post, and subtle-promissory call to action – learn more here. You made me go to iTunes, I subscribed. And you lied.

 

Go be a radio star on somebody else’s time, punk.

 

You see, the real tragedy here is not you. Or your over sharing. But that you (the ‘expert’ marketer) didn’t market your most important possession.

 

You!

 

Have two shows! Simples.

 

One for pure hardcore fast-&-furious digital marketing learning.

 

And another one for your rumblings. Cause you were funny. Are funny. But you sold me this as a learning show. This wasn’t supposed to be personal/wacky/zany and sometimes professional.

 

And man alive! Your show is an hour?

 

Who has the time for that?

 

20 mins.
Two shows.
Marketed at different audience head spaces:

 

1 – learn from my expertise oh lay one.
2 – off duty digital marketer.

Sure isn’t the whole bleeding marketing gig about zoning in on your niche?

 

Don’t spread yourself thin. You’re not butter. And I cry too. At the furnace scene. Gets me every time.

 

 

P.S. no pod-casters were harmed in the writing of this piece. Nor will they ever be. This was written with an Irish sarcasm laced into it. Don’t blame me, I’m just the product of my people!

 

 

Moloney King


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5 thoughts on “No pod-casters were harmed in the writing of this piece

  • Michelle (@MoloneyKing)

    Oh my! You have the coolest second name ever, well – almost ever? Because, my name is cooler, obviously!

    Is your second name really Dance?

    I know I’m Irish and not actual royalty and that we more than likely got this name from working for Imperial rulers, but; I like to think that the hubby’s people got the name from old Irish High Kings. And so it is with Old Celtic Rule that I dub you – Digital Dancer of the Internetssss

    • harry.dance Post author

      Yeah budday, my second name is Dance, brilliant now. In primary school, completely different story! Thank you my honor, I have wanted nothing more than to rule the internet!

      • Michelle (@MoloneyKing)

        HAHAHAHA!! The kids in school were well jelly – but hid it through nast comments.

        If it makes you fell better – it took 18 YEARS for my face to catch up with my nose. And ain’t nobody call me big nose no more. *Air snaps in a Z movement*

  • Athena Dennis

    Hey dancey…awesome name by the way. This is quite funny, these are exactly the same things that annoy me with self-important podcasts. Although some rock, so it’s worth hunting around to find the good ones. Oh yes and decent lashings of Irish sarcasm are always welcome on my blog